0016 The Power of Anguish

Have you ever been so burdened by something that you couldn't move on?

Not just stressed.

Not just disappointed.

But completely and utterly broken.

The kind of anguish that keeps you awake at night. The kind that sits deep in your soul while everyone else seems to carry on with life as usual.

In this episode of the Biblical Passages Podcast, Brittany and Eric explore a powerful and often overlooked truth:

What if anguish isn't something to avoid?

What if it's something God uses to get our attention?

Through personal stories, biblical examples, and practical application, they unpack how some of Scripture's most influential figures experienced deep anguish—and how God responded to it.

Together, Brittany and Eric discuss:

• Why anguish is different from everyday stress and disappointment
• How Jesus experienced unimaginable agony in the Garden of Gethsemane before the cross
• The remarkable medical condition that explains Jesus sweating drops of blood
• Why Paul described carrying "unceasing anguish" for the salvation of others
• Hannah's heartbreaking story of infertility, rejection, and unanswered prayer
• How God transformed Hannah's deepest pain into a blessing beyond what she could have imagined
• Why anguish often reveals the true condition of our hearts
• The overlooked story of Nehemiah and how a burden for something bigger than himself changed history
• The five powerful responses Nehemiah demonstrated when his heart was broken
• How God often positions people long before they understand their calling

This conversation challenges a culture that tells us to numb our pain, distract ourselves, or move on as quickly as possible.

Throughout Scripture, we see a different pattern:

Jesus prayed through His anguish.

Hannah poured out her soul before the Lord.

Paul carried an unceasing burden for others.

Nehemiah sat down, wept, mourned, fasted, and prayed.

And in every story…

God offered a historic response.

If you've been carrying a burden, wrestling with grief, or wondering why something won't leave your heart, this conversation may help you see it differently.

Maybe the thing you've been trying to shake…

is the very thing God is trying to use.

Join Brittany and Eric as they explore how anguish can reveal purpose, deepen faith, and become the beginning of God's movement in our lives. And discover why sometimes our deepest burdens are not obstacles to God's plan—they're invitations into it.

Transcript

SPEAKER_04 0:21

Hey guys, welcome back to the Biblical Passages Podcast, where biblical wisdom meets real life application. That's what we're trying to do here. So we're so glad you're here with us today. Whether you're driving, you know, from work to work, you're cleaning your house, you're getting ready, you're just trying to cope with all the kids running around. Wherever you're at, I hope that you can pull up a seat, carve out this time with us. And, you know, Eric, today we're really going to be talking about something that I think is going to hit people a lot differently than what they expect. We're going to be discussing the power of anguish.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Powerful.

SPEAKER_04 0:55

Oh, that word just hurts my heart.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

Yes. Okay. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:00

Deep, deep word. Anytime that I've heard anguish, it's always been, you know, all I can think of is despair. I heard this one um woman teach on anguish. Her name's Brene Brown, and she likes to show pictures to describe things, to describe words, rather. And she showed this picture of this sheep, and it's like a mother sheep over this baby sheep that apparently the baby sheep is is past. And the mother's standing over it, and there are all these crows and vultures just surrounding. And you see this mother sheep just looking like she is in anguish. Her head is looking towards the sky. She looks like she's making a noise. And it is just heartbreaking. And I feel that we all have felt that way at some points in our lives where anguish has just overtaken us.

SPEAKER_02 1:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:49

So I guess as we kind of dive into our podcast here, you know, Eric, have you ever heard something? Or, you know, I love to ask these questions to our audience. Have you ever heard something that has just wrecked you? And I say wrecked you in a form of, you know, I feel like women, when we get wrecked per se, we are maybe sometimes hysterical, maybe emotional, maybe crying or upset. And, you know, Eric, what does it look like on the male's side when a male gets per se wrecked, like a woman would say?

SPEAKER_02 2:17

Well, it typically he'll he'll use his analytical filters versus his emotional filters.

SPEAKER_04 2:23

So what does that look like on the outside?

SPEAKER_02 2:25

It it what it looks like is it's a there's there's a wound that comes and then um there's there's a message that's decoded, and then a vow is made. You know, like if there is a if if there's been something like a wound that comes from a from a father figure or from a male that they trusted, and then they'll decode that as to say, okay, here's the message that I'm supposed to receive, and I'll make a vow, I'll never trust a man again. And unfortunately that then spills over to sometimes I'll never trust God again. Okay, and so they develop an alienation toward their relationship with their father in heaven.

SPEAKER_04 3:06

So um so a male, um a male being wrecked per se might just look like quiet or silence, or maybe not something as emotional as maybe a woman would look like. But nevertheless, have you ever felt something that has just absolutely shaken you, that's wrecked you, that's brought you to your core? Something where, you know, maybe it's about something you, someone you love or a situation of the community, you know, everyone else around you is just like, okay, have a good day. You know, that reminds me of one of my friends. She lost a baby. And about a year after she lost a baby, she made this comment to me and she said, Brittany, it was like the world just moved on. I went through the hardest time in my life. I lost something so close and so dear to me. And a couple months later, the world just forgot. And that's what I'm kind of feeling here today is you know, what's that point in time where you feel like the world's just forgot, but you couldn't move on? And I feel like there's times in the Bible that we can lean on and go, huh, where are times where they felt this anguish before?

SPEAKER_02 4:05

Yes, the Bible does speak to moments like this and conditions like this. And uh the the Lord is deeply compassionate over that. But uh today today we're talking, as as you said, it's it's about the power of anguish, because anguish will move God's heart. So it's not just like we um, you know, we burned the burgers at the Memorial Day picnic, and so that we were upset about that. This is this is deep, deep anguish that that we're talking about, and how we have four examples, I think, that um he can one of one of them is um how Jesus suffered himself the night before his execution and even on the cross. I think you have a passage in Isaiah that uh Isaiah 50 53 that um that you have set up.

SPEAKER_04 4:56

Yeah, Isaiah 53.5, you know, it says, but he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities, the chastisement of our peace was upon him, and by his stripes we are healed. This was Jesus. This was that that deep personal just I couldn't I can't even imagine anguish that deep. I can't imagine dying for somebody else.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

And that's 700 years in advance. Isaiah is is prophesying this. But then it was actually fulfilled the night before his execution in the Garden of Gethsemane. Uh, there's a passage in Luke 22. Uh can you read that for us?

SPEAKER_04 5:34

Yeah, in Luke 22, 44 it says, and being in agony, he prayed more earnestly. Then his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.

SPEAKER_02 5:46

Can you imagine? I cannot be in such anguish that you you don't sweat water, you sweat blood.

unknown 5:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 5:56

No. I you know, I I thought that that was absolutely impossible, and that this was just kind of like a representation for for how much anguish Jesus was in. But it's an actual scientific condition that being in so much anguish, you can't sweat droplets of blood. That is absolutely mind-blowing to me that he was in so much distress. I've been in distress, but I've not been in that much distress. But also, you know, Eric, this is Jesus. Like, let's be real. This is Jesus. Jesus is doing he's special, he's doing all the things when he's in anguish. He's just like, yo, heavenly father, give me some peace, right? Like they're directly connected. So are there any people in the Bible that suffered you know this this anguish and it wasn't Jesus?

SPEAKER_02 6:41

That's a good question. It's a it's a it's a good solid question. Um, one is Paul. Paul was one that persecuted the the early church, and then of course became a born-again believer when he was knocked off uh down to the ground by Jesus. Why do you persecute me? But uh but he wrote in Romans 9 that he wrote of his great sorrow in unceasing anguish. Unceasing. Can you imagine? Unceasing anguish in his heart for the salvation of his own people. So that's Romans 9, too. So that's a that's a quick one. But uh, you know, Paul didn't get a break just because he has such deep revelation. The Lord's allowed him to suffer greatly in so many different ways, shipwrecks and and persecutions and beatings and prison. He he just he suffered deeply. But let's move on from there. There's an old testament story that, my gosh, uh about about Hannah.

SPEAKER_04 7:42

Yeah, because Paul, Paul, I mean, he makes me feel better about my life, but I mean, he almost makes me feel worse too. Can we get somebody in the middle of the road? Okay, let's go, let's go with Hannah, right? So Hannah in the Bible, we know that oh man, she was a very powerful example of faith and surrender, really. So if you don't know the story of Hannah, she was a woman who desperately wanted a child, but she couldn't conceive. Um, during that time, she was constantly mocked by Panina, who was the other wife of her husband. So that was normal to have more than one wife. So she was mocked because she couldn't have kids. And if you couldn't have kids back then, like you were essentially useless, right? Like there was no point. But instead of turning away from God, Hannah, she faced heartbreak like head on. This girl went straight to the temple and she was in so much anguish that the priest thought she was drunk.

SPEAKER_02 8:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 8:39

I'm talking crying, crying out to God. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 8:45

That is so beautiful though, too. That that other people, well, I think it's it's it's um it's a little worrisome, honestly. When you're in the place where you should be able to let out all your tears, all your sadness, and you get judged instead of love.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

Yes, thank you. Yes, that's a good word. That's a good word. That's a good word.

SPEAKER_04 9:06

That's what she was walking away from from Penina, and she walked straight into a temple where she was supposed to be held and loved, and she was judged.

SPEAKER_02 9:13

Yes. And in verse 12, as she continued praying before the Lord, Eli watched your mouth. Eli was the high priest. Eli watched her mouth. Nahanna spoke in her heart, only her lips moved. This is in the Bible. We're not just writing a Hollywood script. This is actually in the Bible. Only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard. Therefore, Eli thought she was drunk. This is says in verse 13. So Eli said to her, How long will you be drunk? Put your wine away from you. Again, the judgmental attitude, like you just said, but Hannah answered and said, No, my Lord, I am a woman of she. You see that? Of sorrowful spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating drink, but have poured out my soul before the Lord. Come on. There's terms for this. If you want change, look at her. She poured out her soul before the Lord. My gosh, do not consider your maidservant a wicked woman. For out of the abundance of my complaint and grief I have spoken until now. That's that's humility, that's transparency. Then Eli answered and said, Go in peace. He did he and to his credit, he changed, he believed her, and the God of Israel grant your petition, which you have asked of him. So he he brought his his station of the high priest station as a blessing to her. And she said, Let your maidservant find favor in your sight. So she went her the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 10:57

Man. God gave her a son now after that.

SPEAKER_02 11:01

Well, yeah, but look at the look at verse 20. This this ties back into our previous uh podcast where we said that there are no clocks in heaven.

SPEAKER_04 11:11

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:12

Things happen what?

SPEAKER_04 11:14

In the process of time.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

In the process of time. And that's what verse 20 says. So I I think this is where, because we're called biblical passages, we're willing to stop and take note of that little phrase. So in the came to pass, in the process of time, that Hannah conceived and what?

SPEAKER_04 11:34

Bore a son.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

That was the word that was what she got, a boreson, and called his name Samuel, saying, Because I have asked for him from the Lord. And so eventually she dedicates that son after he's been weaned, dedicates him and brings him to the temple to actually live. Can you imagine? After anguish for the son, she raises him for a few years and then turns him over to Eli and says, You raise him from this point forward. And she she would take up every year, she she would take up a little a new um a little new coat for him. And uh and I'm the woman. They s um she said, Oh my Lord, as your soul lives, my Lord, I am the woman who stood by you here, praying to the Lord. For this child I prayed, and the Lord granted me my petition, which I asked of him. Okay, and and lo and behold, the Lord gave her a reward. Do you want to tell us what that was?

SPEAKER_04 12:34

So I'm excited about this because I was asking all these questions beforehand of why would you want to just have a kid in order to be able to give him up? And I just don't understand. But eventually God rewarded her, and in 1 Samuel 2 21, it says, And the Lord visited Hannah so that she conceived and bore three sons and two daughters, five more children. Meanwhile, the child Samuel grew before the Lord because of her sacrifice, she was blessed greatly.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

My goodness.

SPEAKER_04 13:04

That is so beautiful. But I can't imagine that her knowing that in that moment of anguish, that her being in the temple, trying to get away from people being so mean to her, coming to the temple, be having someone hurt her feelings there of like, oh, well, you must be drunk. Stop being like that. And her just being in this anguish, I can't imagine that in that moment she could have ever thought that she would be blessed the way she was blessed afterwards. But that just goes to the Bible saying that he will do abundantly more than we could ever think, ask, or imagine.

SPEAKER_02 13:37

Yes. Amen. My gosh.

SPEAKER_04 13:39

Such a good guy.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

There's something about anguish as we're learning here between Paul, Jesus, and Hannah, and we're about to get into our fourth individual. But there's a purity of heart that that exposes that before God. And the and the the Bible says the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth. For what purpose? To show himself strong on the behalf of those whose hearts are perfect toward him. So he wants to show himself strong. His eyes run to and fro. I remember one time being in prayer with the Lord saying, Why do your eyes have to run to and fro? You're God. Uh you know, you can see everything. He's and he said to me, You think it's easy? You think it's easy to find people who are pure in heart? And so I'm I I just made an assumption. But apparently it's not as easy, it's not as simple as that. So when we read these stories, Hannah, Paul, Jesus, there was a purity of heart that these people had, and the Lord noticed it. And and their stories are recorded in the Bible because of this. In Hannah's case, she had five more children.

SPEAKER_03 14:58

That is beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 14:59

And Samuel went on to change history. I mean, he's the one that anointed, first of all, to give Saul this credibility as a first king, but then David. Um, so this guy had had a great purpose in human history and biblical history.

SPEAKER_04 15:15

Right. You said something though that struck me a couple different ways. One, anguish reveals someone's heart. I'm just thinking of like people that are aggravated at each other, and then all of a sudden someone gets sick, and you hear that, you know, you have a restored relationship all of a sudden. It's because that anguish, that sadness, that that what if moment happens to where it brings you back to reality of how important things are. It really does wipe away everything from your heart. Anguish gets down to the bone. And two, listening to what you were saying, it seems to me, Eric, that anguish is almost it's almost one of those conditions that moves God's heart.

SPEAKER_02 15:57

I think that's well said. It's uh it it it certainly has an impact because he he writes in in the in the in the Bible and Chronicles, uh, if my people there's six conditions, if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways. That's six little clauses there when you really stop and break it down like we like to do. So if my people called by my name will humble themselves. Oh, I don't like to humble myself. You know, that's I like to be prideful. This is America. We we you know we don't humble ourselves. No, we threw off a king. I want to be my own man. I want to be king. I want to be king. There you go. Will humble themselves and pray. This is a but this is a prayer of anguish, and seek my face. In other words, Lord, I'm really looking for you. I'm not looking for um some university professor to give me answers. I'm not looking for social media culture to give me answers. Okay, that we we're we're in dispute here with that sort of thing. The culture wants to build up a viral moment and have you believe that. And God says, no, that's not my way of doing things. Humble yourself, pray, seek my face, and turn from your wicked ways. That's repentance. Okay. Then will I hear from heaven, heal, heal their land. This is this is um there are there are benefits from that. Okay. I tell I tell you what, this is um this is deeply, this is deep.

SPEAKER_04 17:37

It is. So we've talked about anguish. We've definitely talked about a couple people in the Bible, definitely Jesus, who I feel like there is no comparison. He is living on his own life there. Um, we have Paul the Apostle, who, okay, I'm getting a little closer. I still feel like it's a bit intense. Hannah, that definitely touches my heart because I've definitely been to a point in my life where I felt anguish. I've gone into the church looking for help and only to be judged and felt like it was, you know, something that I shouldn't come there for. Oh yes, I was one of the not teen, I was 20 at the time, but I was pregnant and not married and went into a church. And when you see everybody look at you, because I was Southern Baptist, so very intense. And when you see everybody look at you and you, you know, oh, the first question they ask, are you engaged? Are you married? Like you obviously see my big belly here. Come on, people, you know, but I felt that. So that rings a little closer to home. But I feel like there's another character in the Bible that, you know, we read about. I know you brought him up recently, and I think we should really dive into him, and that would be Nehemiah. And I don't feel like I'm yeah, right? Like I didn't hear about him in school, nobody ever made a big deal about him. But he was one of those people that was absolutely full of anguish, and we get to see God move. Why why is there this whole book though on Nehemiah? Why was he so impressive there?

SPEAKER_02 19:13

Well, he he he built a wall around Jerusalem. Oh in just 52 days. Doesn't that impress you?

SPEAKER_04 19:20

I mean, building a wall that sounds a little boring.

SPEAKER_02 19:26

Is there more? That's right, that's right. I wanted to do this. He he he he he yeah. But he but here's the thing he was in exile um uh i in a hundred and a thousand miles away from Jerusalem, and he was a cupbearer to the king, which is a very trusted position. But some of his fellow countrymen came to visit him and gave him a report about the conditions in Jerusalem. Walls broken down, people in distress, no good civic structure. Yeah, when he when he heard this, he he broke down. Okay, because you know Zerubbabel had come back in to build a temple, Ezra had come in to run the temple and lead the temple as a high priest, but there was no civic structure. There was and back then, if you didn't have walls around your city, you were nobody. You were subject to attack and exploitation, and there were three governors around that area that were just taking advantage of the people and and just not to be trusted, and just diabolical people. Okay. So so when Nehemiah hears the story about what's going on, he just he does five things. Okay, and he it says in Nehemiah 1.4 what he does. You want to read that?

SPEAKER_04 20:52

Well, yes, I do want to read it, but I have a couple questions.

SPEAKER_00 20:56

Oh, excuse me.

SPEAKER_04 20:57

Okay, I'm very excited right now. Okay, so first things first. Nehemiah, you said he was born in exile, so he never knew anything outside of this. He never knew a free place, he never knew wonderful and happy, but yet his friends come and tell him about what's been happening this whole time, anyways. And all of a sudden his heart is moved. You know, that just makes me think of me when I so when I was young, I was like probably 14, 15 years old, my heart was moved for pregnant teens and abortions. Like I did every speech in class you could possibly do on abortions to educate people. I um I wanted to be a therapist for girls that were looking to have abortions at that age. Like my heart was moved for it, but I I couldn't understand why I'd never been in that position before. Right. And Nehemiah has never been in that position before. All he's known is the days he's living, all I knew were the days I was living, but yet your heart. Is moved. It makes me wonder if we sit and think about the way that our heart are is moved for different things in our lives, how we should be pursuing that and not just, oh, well, you know, I can do nothing about that. And you know, I live my own life over here. It's like, what's God trying to move your heart about?

SPEAKER_02 22:16

Good point.

unknown 22:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:20

Nehemiah was moved. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 22:22

Oh, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 22:23

Oh, Nehemiah was moved, just like you said, even though he'd never been to Jerusalem. Uh but he he was moved. Why? Because he knew the conditions. Prophet after prophet had come in and warned the kings. The kings cycled good king, bad king, good king, bad king. And these prophets came in and warned and warned and warned because they were following the idols. It was terrible, it was wicked. And they kept saying, God's going to judge you, God's going to judge you. And eventually the Lord uh uh rose up the Assyrians, the Babylonians to come in and conquer um the his own land, his own Israel and then Judah. And these exiles went into captivity, and there was the the country was gone, the gone, the uh the one that had been promised uh and and to to Moses and and uh even previous to that, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, your your children will be as as the stars uh in the sky and the sands on the beach. Where where are they now? What's going on? So uh Nehemiah has this heartbreaking experience, heartbroken, his heart was broken over this this condition, and uh that's extraordinary to me. He just hears a story that he kind of probably peripherally knew about what was going on in Jerusalem, but when his uh when um when he's told this story uh from his fellow countrymen about the conditions in Jerusalem, he he's moved instantly. And if we take a look at those Nehemiah 1.4, there were five things that he did.

SPEAKER_04 24:10

Yeah, so Nehemiah 1.4 says, So it was when I heard these words that I sat down and wept.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

One. I just want to go slowly. The passages, right? That's who we are. Jesus bursting through.

SPEAKER_04 24:24

Pay attention. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:26

He sat down, okay, and then what else?

SPEAKER_04 24:28

Uh he wept.

SPEAKER_02 24:30

That's two.

SPEAKER_04 24:31

And mourned.

SPEAKER_02 24:32

That's three.

SPEAKER_04 24:33

For many days.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

Okay, that's many days. Many days, there you go.

SPEAKER_04 24:37

Uh it says I was fasting.

SPEAKER_02 24:39

That's four.

SPEAKER_04 24:39

And praying.

SPEAKER_02 24:40

There you go.

SPEAKER_04 24:41

Before the God of heaven.

SPEAKER_02 24:43

My goodness. There's five things. You say, Well, okay, wait a minute. What about sat down? Is that is that a big deal? Stand up, sit down. Yes. When you look and when you look in uh the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus sat down and then he drew his disciples to him. Okay, and he started doing the Sermon on the Mount. Uh when we look at uh the we did Psalm one, you know, Blessed is the man that walketh not in the council of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sits in the Okay, right. So when he when we um the sit down indicates I I'm with you guys, you know, I'm part of you. So here he is, he's sitting down to demonstrate his brokenness, his his uh how how he he this matters to him. Okay, I sit where I heard these words, I sat down and he wept and he mourned. What did Jesus say in in the uh in the Beatitudes? Blessed are they those that mourn, they shall be comforted. So he is mourning, it says right here, for many days, not just superficial, 10-minute tears, oh Lord, you know, um, you know, my I I I blew a tire and I don't have the money for a spare tire. Oh Lord, can you help me? Okay, these 10-minute prayers. No, that's not what happened. You know, but for many days, and he was fasting, denying bot food to his body, which is a form of bringing your body into subjection and praying before the God of heaven. So, anyway, I just wanted to point out he did five things to indicate his anguish.

SPEAKER_04 26:25

That's what we should be doing every time we have an issue happen. But um, okay, so we, I mean, we live in a world today where everyone's busy, we're all overwhelmed, we spend a lot of energy doing so many things, but we always try to feel, you know, less burdened, less anxious, less emotionally weighed down. But when we look at Nehemiah here, his story actually starts with him feeling more burdened, more broken, more wrecked. And it wasn't even his problem to fix, Eric. That's what I think is interesting, is that he didn't, it wasn't even his. He's taking on the weight of other people's issues. And in this world right now, on social media, everything is if it's not, if I don't want it, it's not for me, and I'm not taking on more than I have to, and it's my way or the highway, and it's never step in and help somebody else.

SPEAKER_02 27:20

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 27:21

We don't see that.

SPEAKER_02 27:23

Okay. Well, when you say everyone is busy and overwhelmed and and um and spending of inner energy, there are times when people keep themselves busy as a deliberate distraction so that they don't have to feel anything. Okay, so they they they they're just occupied with one thing after another in order that they don't have to pay attention to something that that will uh would would matter otherwise. So but the Lord uh lets him hear, lets Nehemiah hear this report and it turns out that he he works for a really powerful king. And as we get deeper into the into the story, maybe that'll be a part two for this, uh, we we will see that that that king uh can respond to Nehemiah's heart cry. But again, I think it was the Lord seeing the purity of Nehemiah's heart. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Okay. Uh and so again, the what the eyes of the Lord are doing what? Running back and forth for looking for who? Those whose hearts are perfect toward him. Is that oh, Eric, perfect behavior? I I you know I can't have perfect behavior because then no, not perfect behavior, perfect heart. That my motives, my intentions are good, not that my behavior is perfect. Uh that's where people get, you know, get confused and they think and f and even so-called religious people. As you said, you walked into a church and you were uh immediately judged. So uh that's uh that's quite a story. I'm so sorry that happened. But you were looking for comfort and empathy and and and spiritual solace, but uh you didn't get it.

SPEAKER_04 29:13

Yes, no, thank you. It is uh it's okay because it showed me in those moments how other people needed to be treated. And so I've been able to emulate that. And that's been that's been a lot of fun, really, the way that God's healed my heart through that. But with Nehemiah here, he's not really, I wouldn't think that Nehemiah would be the most obvious person to pick. Like, wouldn't you think that there are like leaders and people that are well, you know, involved and have people already behind them and ready to go. And like this guy's just a cupbearer to the king.

SPEAKER_02 29:52

Yes, he is. But uh, and I started writing uh uh frankly a book about this called The Prayer of Nehemiah. He has a prayer in in the opening passages of his book. It's about 250 words, plus or minus, depending on what version you're looking at. And uh I started writing a book called The Prayer of Nehemiah, and one day I remember going back down to going down to a local bookstore back when they had bookstores, remember them? And uh and and I was searching through the spiritual section and came to a section about the prayer of of um different prayers that were done. You know, remember the story the book with the prayer of Jabez, a very popular one, and then uh I'm flipping through these books and I see a a little book called The Prayer of Nehemiah. And I still to this day remember how discouraged I felt because I thought, oh my goodness, this book has already been written. And I came home and I remember just sitting down on my couch, just praying to God, very discouraged. And I said, Why would you have me write a book that no one's gonna read? Seems foolish, what a waste of time. And the Lord said, I'm not having you write that book uh because people will read it. I'm having you write the book because I'm building a Nehemiah spirit in you. Now it's double ashamed, okay, because I was sitting there trying to use my analytical ability to determine why the Lord had given me a so an assignment. And we just gotta be careful about that. So uh where we start using our intellect our analysis to try, or even our emotions, as you've been saying here today, uh to try to understand the Lord's um his his principles, his motives, uh his his uh plans, his strategies. We just gotta be careful. We're just not as smart as him. And and we we just think we know. We think we know. But that's not that's not appropriate. So uh he is uh Nehemiah had an interesting interesting story, which we'll have to get into maybe in another another episode. But uh that this uh I l I love this guy because he was he was just a nobody. And most of the people that listen to us we they don't have huge credentials, and they don't they don't have they're not some professor at some seminary, and they're not some pastor of a megachurch. They're just good, regular, honest people, but they they do have a calling. God does have uh they are a citizen of the kingdom of heaven, and they do have uh and ambassador credentials where the Lord wants them to be of influence and wherever they are. And that's what Nehemiah did. He became a man of great influence because uh he he did rebuild that wall eventually. The story is incredible, but he did rebuild that wall around Jerusalem in just 52 days.

SPEAKER_04 33:04

You know, I think we all are Nehemiah to a point because we all are called, we all don't feel like we're the most obvious person for any situation typically, but we're all called to do big things for God. But the most important thing that I think could happen or did happen was his response. Like we can all be called and look at it and go, This is too big, this is too much, I won't make an impact. There's no way that this can happen, and we can stop and ignore it. But the five things that Nehemiah did, he sat down. That means he didn't rage out, he didn't lose his mind, he didn't tell God, what are you doing? He didn't spiral, he stopped and he goes, No, okay, there's something going on here. He wept, so he let himself feel it. This was real grief. This wasn't like a performance for everybody else. This was I am deeply pained. I don't care if I'm not supposed to cry, I don't care what the social status norms are, I am hurt and I am going to let you know that I am hurt. Yeah, he mourned this this. I think that mourning, people don't even talk about mourning anymore because we just want to get over things so quickly and process them to move on. But he mourned. This wasn't just a moment, this wasn't a time that passed that went away very quickly. He had to sit in it. And sometimes when we sit in it, we think, okay, this isn't right, this isn't where we should be. But he needed all of this to get to where he was supposed to get. Then he fasted. So he brought his body into submission. He decided we're going spiritual on this. You know what? Yeah, I'm sitting here, I'm weeping, I'm crying out to God, but now I'm gonna break you. You're not gonna break me, I'm gonna break you. And he's breaking the spiritual part, he's giving his body up for submission, just like Jesus gave his body up and he prayed. So even after all that, he it's like you're you're almost laying on the ground before God, going, take it all. Yeah, what what can you do with me? Here I am. Yeah, I think that's a beautiful depiction of exactly what Nehemiah did.

SPEAKER_02 35:17

Yes. And as you were talking, I don't know that we're all called to something big and huge and mighty, uh, because it it might just seem small. But if we if we do it, we we should do it on faith. That we might examine intellectually, gee, I don't have the resources, I don't have the education, I don't have the money, I don't have the contacts, and that's us operating by analysis and intellect and and some evaluation. But when we walk by faith and not by sight, then then the Lord says, you know, I can multiply that. If I can um I could have take the faith of a mustard seed, and I can multiply it 30, 60, hundredfold times, Jesus said. That's kingdom economics. And when we get into that, that's an exciting topic by itself. That that again, avoid the logic, avoid the the uh earthbound way of running economics and say, oh, that uh you know I need to have the money, I need to have the education, I need to have the contacts. That's just a um that's the cursed economy. Let's go all the way to the kingdom economy, where and that's what Neobi did. He he just was he just followed the Lord's guidance, and uh, you know, as we you know as we get into the the next part of the story when when uh when he goes to um the king and and expresses you know why he's in and he's feeling sad, uh and the king resources him. Amazing story, just amazing out of familiar.

SPEAKER_04 36:57

Yeah, so we're definitely gonna go into that within our next episode. I think this one, the main things that I I find to be important is that I think a lot of us walk around with maybe unprocessed burdens or things that we feel deeply, but we never actually sit with them like Nehemiah did. Maybe we just keep moving and then we wonder, why do we feel disconnected? Why do we have no purpose? What's going on? It's because we're not willing to sit with them, to fast, to hear what God is trying to say to us in those moments. And a lot of the times God has already positioned us before we even know what his calling is. Uh he will shift and move things in our lives and make a way. And we don't, we're just over here. I swear, sometimes we're just over here like little ants just going back and forth, and we're not even paying attention to what God is telling us to do.

SPEAKER_02 37:49

Okay. Well, this has been a again, I know you gave us the title at the beginning, The Power of Anguish. And uh it uh it has a way of moving the heart of God. It has a way of expressing the depth of our conviction, and there are some stories here between Hannah, Paul, uh, and and Nehemiah. And there are more. I would love for people to go search out other examples that they find in the Bible that they say, well, that's another story of anguish. Great, go search it out and and see what you can learn from that. And and you know, I'm not saying everybody manufactures anguish, that's silly. But what they should do is look for legitimate stories of this and how it not only expressed their the deep feelings of their heart, but also it moved the heart of God.

SPEAKER_04 38:44

Yeah. So in closing, I would say we'd want to reflect, you know, what have you been trying to shake? Maybe God's asking you to sit with it instead and you know, uh absorb that moment, see what he's trying to say. But next week, we're gonna kind of dive into what Nehemiah actually does with that burden because he didn't just feel it, he takes it somewhere specific. And, you know, God moves in the most powerful example of his prayer there. So we're gonna go through those verses and see the way God moves. But thank you for spending time with us today going through Nehemiah. And I look forward to actually diving into uh Nehemiah a little bit more next week.

SPEAKER_02 39:20

Great, thank you.

SPEAKER_04 39:21

Until next time.